It seems like its that time of year again... where many long term relationships seem to end... I already know of at least FOUR that ended in the past few weeks, and one of them I thought was going to last forever, they were so perfect together!!...

This, of course, frustrates me to no end.

My first breakup ever was around this time of year, too. That was years ago, though.

It's like... spring time arrives, everyone is happy, in love, getting together, everything is great.

And then Fall comes along and KNOCKS EVERYONE ON THEIR ASSES.

This doesn't just frustrate me. It scared the crap out of me.

I've had many heart-to-heart convo's with my guy, and he's assured me time and time again that it wont happen, we'll always be together, and that he'll never leave me.

...yeah. Like I haven't heard THAT one before.

However, I find myself truly believing him. Foolish? Maybe. But I love him. People do foolish things when they're in love.

He said the sweetest thing to me today.

"Honey... really... to be honest... I feel like we're already married. And trust me, I only plan on getting married once in my life, I'm not the kind of guy who wants divorce or anything... I love you. You're my everthing. You're my saviour, my best friend, my love, everything. What would I do without you?"

anyways, I'll stop with the sappy mushy lovey dovey stuff. The majority of you are probably rolling your eyes at me haha.

Thanks for bearing with me through my sappy journals LOL Love you all.

So, I’ve got some good news and bad news.

THE GOOD NEWS!

I’m getting a Canon Rebel DSLR for my Christmas/birthday gift this year (I talked to my parents and they agreed that they would get me ONLY that and it would count for both occasions since it costs so much.) I can’t wait I’M SO EXCITED!!!!
I already have so many photo shoot ideas forming in my head, just itching to come alive!! But I need the proper equipment for the effects I want, so I must wait until Christmas *cries*

Now... for the bad news.

My boyfriend Jayson is going away for two weeks on vacation. Yeah, that’s going to be great for him, getting to get away from school for two whole weeks, going to Florida for nine or ten days then going on a four day cruise through the Caribbean... BUT IM GOING TO MISS HIM SO MUCH.

I’ve been dating him for about five and a half months now, and you’ve got to understand... The longest I was away from him was a week (when I went camping with Nicole!! ) and even THEN it pained me to be away from him. Granted, I didn’t know there was a pay phone for like the first 4 days LOL.

But my point is, IM SO DEPRESSED. And what’s worse? He’s coming back on our six month anniversary. Now, normally that’d be a good thing, but he’s coming back LATE in the day. So most of our anniversary I’ll be sitting at home waiting desperately for him to arrive so we can have our passionate reunion.

..which we WILL have that day. I don’t care if I have to bus over at like midnight... well ok I kind of care, bussing at night in my area is sketchy. But anyways.
I’m going to miss him so much, I think I’ll cry lol. I know! I know. I’m pathetic. Whatever. I’m in love. Screw you all who think its gross.

Sorry I’m just frustrated.

So.. he’s leaving on Friday. Yeah. That’s in two days. Tomorrow is my last day with him before he leaves, then its no Jayson for TWO WEEKS. *sigh*

I LOVE YOU JAYSON. I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN, DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME!!!... and don’t have TOOOO much fun if you know what I mean LOL (;

I love you all Thanks for reading and putting up with my rants.

I guess I've been thinking a lot recently. About past loves, and new ones. Well, past LOVE, and new LOVE. no plural, .

Just how different experiences changed me for the better in my old relationship, and how I apply what I learned from those past experiences, to the things I experience now in my new relationship. I know what to expect in a way, I guess.

To be honest I thought I'd feel hatred for my ex forever. Now, I'm not so sure.

Yes, I'm upset. Yes, I'll probably always be. But I don't feel the same burning passion of hate as I once did when the wound was still fresh. I can let go.

I was able to forgive an old friend who was involved. Maybe I can forgive him too.

Eventually.

But see, even if I forgive him, he may never forgive me.

Which is fine, its his choice. I don't blame him.

Maybe someday we'll be able to be friends again...

Eventually.

Until then I'll just keep remembering certain things, certain things I learned, and keep applying them to my new relationship.

Theres no way in hell I'm going to screw this one up. I'll work a lot harder, fight a lot stronger, I'll do anything to keep this alive. I know when I'm being given a second chance, and I know a good thing when I see it. This new relationship has also started to change me, again, for the better. I laugh a lot, smile, sing, dance, I'm becoming myself again. I feel comfotable around him, I've even come to realise I feel more relaxed and comfortable around him than I ever did with a boyfriend. After four months of dating, talking, kissing, holding eachother, laughing, crying, and bickering playfully, I can honestly say I'm in love. And I love the feeling. I never want to let him go.

And the great thing is? He feels the same. He's everything I could possibly want and need, and he says the same thing about me. I'm happy.

And so, this ends another pointless journal... Just thought I'd get out some randomness all pent up inside.

I love you all.

Being in love... is a lot different the second time it happens.

The first time you find yourself in love, you're not sure what to do, what to expect... everything is so... new.

The first heartbreak is always the most tough, too.


But now that I find myself young and in love once more... its so much more... intense. In a good way, of course.

I find myself generally happier than I've ever been... I sort of know what to expect of the relationship, since I know what I'm doing this time.

I'm really happy I met Jayson. Honestly, I had given up dating for a while after my last relationship ended, but a few weeks later I started talking to Jay (he was in my english class and we were working on an assignment together) and I started having feelings for him... and I was scared. I didn't want to go out with him at first, I was so nervous about being hurt and I had heard rumors about him (which btw are completely false anyways) but my best friend said "Honey, just go for it. He's a nice guy." so... for once... I listened to her.

And I'm so glad I did.

We share the same values and goals in life, we're both very emotional, sensitive, and affectionate, not to mention clingy. My family loves him, and his family adores me too. I love spending time with them, and with him.
Plus he doesn't mind PDA, and he likes when I take pics!!! I swear this boy is perfect for me. I love him so much.
I can't explain it... you would have to be a fly on the wall when we're laying down, holding eachother, staring into eachothers eyes and whispering how much we love eachother and how lucky we are... its so cute... plus he treats me amazingly.
He's taught me to move on as well, which is the most important thing

I love you Jayson Tron Froman!

Well hello there!

Long time no see? Ish.

I'm free at last!! NO MORE SCHOOL!!

I'm very proud of myself, I passed all my classes, my lowest mark was a 70

My average was 80.1!! I'm pretty sure I'm on the honour roll again this year

So I figured I'd update and whatnot, just to check in.

So... why do people keep dying?

Michael Jackson, now Billy Mays?

Not to mention Heath Ledger and Natasha Richardson.

ITS SO SAD!!

People think celebrities are like... immortal or something. When regular people die, its sad yeah, but when a celebrity dies its like everyone is in complete shock like WHOA WTF?? THEY CAN DIE???

It's odd. anyway.

I'm off, my bestie friend is comin over! LOVE YOU ALL.

BY THE WAY. NICOLE. WE NEED TO CHILLZ SOONTIMES. GO ONLINE OR SOMETHING!!!